commander hector "practicing slut" rhineskeep (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
secondthoughts) wrote2023-09-05 10:01 am
secondthoughts) wrote2023-09-05 10:01 am
Personally if it were up to me I'd say EVERYONE log off until we get some sorta statement from the higher ups, but they don't seem inclined to make one and frankly I don't trust half this group to either act sensibly or put their needs above others, especially if I'm the one telling them to do it.
Since CC Corp ain't doing anything about it visibly, they feel like they gotta be the heroes and handle it themselves. And I don't wanna look like even more of a loser than I already am by bailing and leaving shit to a bunch of teenagers.
Since CC Corp ain't doing anything about it visibly, they feel like they gotta be the heroes and handle it themselves. And I don't wanna look like even more of a loser than I already am by bailing and leaving shit to a bunch of teenagers.
I could do it for you.
[ it might be too late at this point since unkie is slow... but who's to say Hector won't encourage people to log off anyway. ]
Yeah, a lot of them are young. Too young for any of this, in my opinion.
You're doing a good thing by sticking around for them. But don't forget your own advice - put your needs above others if it comes down to it.
[ it might be too late at this point since unkie is slow... but who's to say Hector won't encourage people to log off anyway. ]
Yeah, a lot of them are young. Too young for any of this, in my opinion.
You're doing a good thing by sticking around for them. But don't forget your own advice - put your needs above others if it comes down to it.
You clearly don't remember me THAT well from uni if you think you gotta tell me not to stick my neck out too much for other people.
Anyway even a hunk like you ain't gonna be able to convince all of them to log out. I think we just gotta try to make sure everyone's bein careful and all of that.
Anyway even a hunk like you ain't gonna be able to convince all of them to log out. I think we just gotta try to make sure everyone's bein careful and all of that.
That makes two of us, then.
We'll do what we can. No matter what the truth is behind Mithrun's situation, I'd hate for this to happen again. I don't like it.
We'll do what we can. No matter what the truth is behind Mithrun's situation, I'd hate for this to happen again. I don't like it.
[It takes a few minutes before a number pops up with a Berkeley area code.]
Mithrun's new armor did something to him. Made him a younger version of himself or something.
He was talking about putting himself back in a coma so that he could die by his own choice.
Mithrun's new armor did something to him. Made him a younger version of himself or something.
He was talking about putting himself back in a coma so that he could die by his own choice.
Jesus christ.
[ It takes Hector a moment to respond after that. Saving someone who wants to live is easy. Saving someone who doesn't want it is, well... He just thinks himself lucky he hasn't had to do that before. ]
I'd be spooked by something like that, too.
I'm guessing you helped him out of it, then?
[ It takes Hector a moment to respond after that. Saving someone who wants to live is easy. Saving someone who doesn't want it is, well... He just thinks himself lucky he hasn't had to do that before. ]
I'd be spooked by something like that, too.
I'm guessing you helped him out of it, then?
I don't know.
I texted someone else that could get to where he lived, and just tried to talk to him. Had to pin him for a bit in FF guild. Tried to get him to take his armor off.
After a while, he asked me to do it myself. Said he was going to die either way, whether it was someone taking his headset off or whether he took off his armor, and he was really upset about not having a choice anymore.
I know it's just because of what his armor was doing. But I still feel sick.
I texted someone else that could get to where he lived, and just tried to talk to him. Had to pin him for a bit in FF guild. Tried to get him to take his armor off.
After a while, he asked me to do it myself. Said he was going to die either way, whether it was someone taking his headset off or whether he took off his armor, and he was really upset about not having a choice anymore.
I know it's just because of what his armor was doing. But I still feel sick.
Shit.
That couldn't have been easy, Misteaks. I'm sorry.
I want to say you did the right thing. So long as he himself is still breathing you still saved a life, even if it was against his wishes.
[ In honesty? He doesn't know. Bullshit city, this guy. ]
Are you happy with what you did?
That couldn't have been easy, Misteaks. I'm sorry.
I want to say you did the right thing. So long as he himself is still breathing you still saved a life, even if it was against his wishes.
[ In honesty? He doesn't know. Bullshit city, this guy. ]
Are you happy with what you did?
Just "Barrett" is okay here. [He knows Mehmet knows that already.
There's a long pause, typing and erasing and typing again.]
I don't know.
He was crying a lot when he was himself again. I've never seen him cry before.
I'm glad he's safe. But I feel like maybe I hurt him more than I helped.
There's a long pause, typing and erasing and typing again.]
I don't know.
He was crying a lot when he was himself again. I've never seen him cry before.
I'm glad he's safe. But I feel like maybe I hurt him more than I helped.
Haha sorry. Habit.
[ anyway, ]
Be selfish for a second. I know if you're anything like me, that might be hard. But forget about how he might feel.
Are you happy with what you did?
[ anyway, ]
Be selfish for a second. I know if you're anything like me, that might be hard. But forget about how he might feel.
Are you happy with what you did?
[Another long pause.]
Sort of.
I hate what I had to do. But I'm happy he's still here. I was scared to lose him when we just got him back.
Is that bad of me?
Sort of.
I hate what I had to do. But I'm happy he's still here. I was scared to lose him when we just got him back.
Is that bad of me?
No.
Tell him that the next time you see him. Tell him you're happy that he's alive and that you get to spend more time with him.
Especially when you get a second chance like this. This is rare. You're lucky. Never, ever try to downplay the happiness you get when spending time with someone you care about.
Tell him that the next time you see him. Tell him you're happy that he's alive and that you get to spend more time with him.
Especially when you get a second chance like this. This is rare. You're lucky. Never, ever try to downplay the happiness you get when spending time with someone you care about.
[You're lucky.
Never try to downplay your happiness.
...]
Okay.
Okay.
I haven't felt like this in a while. Not since my dad. I wish it stopped making me so scared.
Never try to downplay your happiness.
...]
Okay.
Okay.
I haven't felt like this in a while. Not since my dad. I wish it stopped making me so scared.
Custody battle between him and my oldest brother. Took a while.
Almost lost my twin brother.
Almost lost my twin brother.
That's scary, too.
But the prospect of losing someone IS scary. And you should say that, too.
I used to know someone who would speak so romantically about death in battle, like it was a good thing. He was so obsessed with it. He had no idea that whenever he started talking about it, he'd terrify me. He thought he was doing me favors by fantasizing about a world where he'd died and I lived on without him, but he wasn't. It made it hard to enjoy the moment with him.
He only stopped when I told him how that made me feel. He never wanted to hurt me, he just got caught up in his own head.
Some people need the reminder.
But the prospect of losing someone IS scary. And you should say that, too.
I used to know someone who would speak so romantically about death in battle, like it was a good thing. He was so obsessed with it. He had no idea that whenever he started talking about it, he'd terrify me. He thought he was doing me favors by fantasizing about a world where he'd died and I lived on without him, but he wasn't. It made it hard to enjoy the moment with him.
He only stopped when I told him how that made me feel. He never wanted to hurt me, he just got caught up in his own head.
Some people need the reminder.
[ The only one who knows at this point is Yael, and he's blocked.
Hector stares at the screen a bit, and he feels the heartache pull at the seams of his facade. Who is he doing a disservice by not telling Barret?
...Him, probably. ]
I loved him. More than anything else in the entire world.
So I get it. I know it's complicated when the other person doesn't want to live, but you're still making an impact when you say how happy they make you. Just make sure you say it while you have the chance.
Hector stares at the screen a bit, and he feels the heartache pull at the seams of his facade. Who is he doing a disservice by not telling Barret?
...Him, probably. ]
I loved him. More than anything else in the entire world.
So I get it. I know it's complicated when the other person doesn't want to live, but you're still making an impact when you say how happy they make you. Just make sure you say it while you have the chance.
[Loved. Past.
...]
Was it hard for you when you first had to tell him? How you felt, I mean.
...]
Was it hard for you when you first had to tell him? How you felt, I mean.
To be honest? No.
Our situation was...complicated. But how I felt? And telling him how I felt? Probably the easiest thing I've ever experienced in my life. Never questioned it for a second.
But I know that's rare.
Our situation was...complicated. But how I felt? And telling him how I felt? Probably the easiest thing I've ever experienced in my life. Never questioned it for a second.
But I know that's rare.
Did you ever worry about what to say?
I think that's what I don't understand. Knowing how to describe how he makes me feel. We like being with each other. But I don't know how to say how happy I am.
I got to see him yesterday. And I want to see him more days. A lot more. And I don't know if he's happy with me, or with somebody else.
Is it okay if I'm still happy with him? I feel if I wait, I'll have to watch him disappear again. But I don't want him to feel he has to hear my feelings if he isn't ready.
I think that's what I don't understand. Knowing how to describe how he makes me feel. We like being with each other. But I don't know how to say how happy I am.
I got to see him yesterday. And I want to see him more days. A lot more. And I don't know if he's happy with me, or with somebody else.
Is it okay if I'm still happy with him? I feel if I wait, I'll have to watch him disappear again. But I don't want him to feel he has to hear my feelings if he isn't ready.
Stop worrying and just say it.
Stop worrying about your word choice. Stop worrying about how he might feel about it. If it's weighing on you, if it's HURTING you, then just say it. The longer you let that sit on you, the harder it is it's gonna be to get rid of it. And if he's gone again? You'll have to sit with that for the rest of your life.
If it's clear you obviously like being around each other, and he hasn't been homophobic towards you? Then the worst thing you can do is wait and worry.
Stop worrying about your word choice. Stop worrying about how he might feel about it. If it's weighing on you, if it's HURTING you, then just say it. The longer you let that sit on you, the harder it is it's gonna be to get rid of it. And if he's gone again? You'll have to sit with that for the rest of your life.
If it's clear you obviously like being around each other, and he hasn't been homophobic towards you? Then the worst thing you can do is wait and worry.
Page 2 of 6